A Teen Titans Fairy Tale
by Keitorin Asthore
Summary: The Teen Titans are sucked into a weird fairy tale world. Totally revamped with two new chapters!
1. Part One

"Hey, y'all!" Cyborg singsonged. "Guess what I've got?" He rattled the box enticingly. "Super Ultrasonic Crash Bang Mayhem III! Am I good, or am I good?" He burst into the room and stopped dead in his tracks. "What the heck are you people doing?"  
"Reading," Raven said. "You'd be surprised, Cyborg. It wouldn't tax your brain quite as much as you think."  
"Greetings, Cyborg!" Starfire beamed. She sat on the floor surrounded by books. "They have been teaching me about the legends of the teeny tiny winged people."  
"Fairy tales," Robin explained. "Star found a book of them and insisted we find all the books we could."  
"But what about Super Ultrasonic Crash Bang Mayhem III?" Cyborg wailed. "I finally got it! C'mon! Somebody! Hey, B.B., you'll take my side, right?"  
"Not today, Cy," Beast Boy said. "These stories are actually pretty cool." He rapidly shape-shifted into a young green elf creature. "See?"  
"No," Cyborg griped. "I'll be in my room." He clomped all the way there, muttering and complaining to himself. "Fairy tales! How can fairy tales possibly compare with Super Ultrasonic Crash Bang Mayhem III?"  
"How, indeed?"  
No heard the piping little voice, or saw the tiny girl with long purple hair and glistening wings. She rubbed her miniscule hands in glee. "Just a few minutes, and my spell will be completed!" The fairy played her miniature silver flute and danced in malicious joy on the crossbeams of the tower.  
  
*****  
  
It was ten o'clock at night when Cyborg clomped back downstairs. "Okay, you people!" he said. "I don't care how late it is. I wanna play Super Ultrasonic Crash Bang Mayhem III!" He plugged in the controllers, flipped on the TV and turned on the game.  
Beast Boy must've forgotten to turn down the sound last time, because the pounding techno beats and flashing laser grinds from the game's soundtrack flooded out of the speakers. "AUGH!" Cyborg screeched, fumbling for the volume controls. He gave himself and his wildly vibrating audio sensors a moment to calm down. "Sorry, guys," he apologized. "Didn't mean to- guys?"  
All of his friends were fast asleep- no, more than fast asleep. They were frozen in time. Cyborg flicked Raven's ear. "Hello! Wake up, y'all!"  
"They're not going to wake up!" a perky little voice giggled. A tiny being materialized in front of Cyborg's face. He batted at it wildly, but she only chortled again and darted out of the way.  
"What have you done to my friends?!" he demanded. "Who are you?"  
"My name is Alabasterai  
I've come to play a little game," she recited.  
"Break the spell and you shall find  
Your friendship's tie will ne'er unwind  
But lose the bond and you shall fail  
And all your tears have no avail."  
"That makes no sense!" Cyborg yelped.  
Alabasterai laughed and poked him in the nose with her flute. "See you in my world, robot boy."  
The world dissolved into purple sparkles before Cyborg's eyes. "Ooh, lookit the perty lights," he mumbled. The inside of Titans Tower faded and went black.  
"Ack," he groaned. "Last time I play video games so late at night." He sat up. "Where am I?"  
The Tower had disappeared.  
He was sitting in the middle of a field of daisies, while a happy fawn frolicked near the edge of the forest. "Okay, cut the cute and cuddly!" Cyborg barked. "It's like going into Starfire's room, only worse!"  
Suddenly the sunny blue sky split apart with lightning.  
"That's not good," he mumbled.  
  
Author's Note: My very first Teen Titans fic...and surprisingly my most popular! *happy review dance* I love fairy tales, and I love Teen Titans, so this was sort of meant to be. Originally I was going to do it with, I think, the YuYu Hakusho gang, but this is better, ne? 


	2. Part Two

The cute and fluffy fawn gave a little shriek and gamboled away. "Hey! Wait!" he called. "What's going on?"  
"It's Queen Shishboomba!" the fawn yipped as he darted into the forest. "Run away, funny metal man! Run away!"  
Cyborg's jaw dropped. "It's only a bunny! A cute li'l bunny with a shiny li'l crown!" he protested, jogging after the fawn.  
"That's no ordinary rabbit! That's the most foul, cruel, and bad tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!" the fawn told him. "She's got fangs like this!"  
Cyborg stopped. "What a strange animal," he commented. The fawn galloped away, still having seizures over the evil queen rabbit creature. "Next thing y'know, a white rabbit'll pop up and tell me he's late."  
"You're late!"  
"No, no, no," he corrected. "See, you're supposed to say that you're late, not me, and you're supposed to be a white rabbit, not a...a..."  
"A what?" she smiled.  
"Pretty girl," Cyborg mumbled, staring at her.  
"My name is-"  
"Alice?" he guessed.  
She blinked. "No. My name is Wendy," she said. "You were supposed to come a long time ago. Your friends are waiting for you."  
"How did you know about my friends?" Cyborg asked. "Where are they? Are they okay?"  
Wendy laughed and patted Cyborg's arm in a motherly way. "Oh, don't fuss, dear. They're perfectly all right. In fact, the funny little green one is in the village right over there."  
"Great!" Cyborg exclaimed. "That's Beast Boy!" He turned to Wendy to ask her a question, but she was staring at the sky with a worried expression.  
"Oh, dear," she sighed. "I must go."  
"Are you scared of Queen Shishboomba too?" he asked.  
Suddenly Wendy jumped up and flew away. "I'll try to find you later, Mr. Shiny Metal Man!" she called.  
The girl flew away rapidly as a small ragtag band of dirty-faced boys dressed as animals raced over the hills. "IT'S A WENDY BIRD! IT'S A WENDY BIRD! IT'S A WENDY BIRD!" they chanted like yoga professors teaching a new mantra.  
"Whatever," Cyborg shrugged. "I gotta find B.B. Maybe this'll make sense in his warped little brain."  
  
*****  
  
The charming and picturesque little village was only a few yards from the outskirts of the woods. The storybook cobblestone streets were filled with smiling, laughing people dressed in extremely old fashioned clothes. They were all pointing at someone.  
One of the villagers poked Cyborg- not an easy thing to do, what with all of his rivets- and said, "See that one? She's the crazy one 'round here."  
"What? I don't see anyb-" Suddenly something smacked into him.  
"Ouch!" a small voice said. "That was intensely painful."  
"Where did that voice come from?" Cyborg wondered.  
A small hand waved in front of his face. "I'm down here!" the girl piped. She was a small, slightly stocky young woman, with light brown hair and blue eyes. The girl pushed her glasses up the bridge of her snub nose. "When looking for me in crowds, always look down and not across."  
Cyborg blinked rapidly. "Eh...who are you?" he asked.  
"Most people call me Beauty," she smiled, hefting her large book under arm. "I think they're simply mocking me, but hey, a nickname's a nickname."  
"Okay, Beauty, I'm looking for a short green skinned guy. A little taller than you, I think," he said.  
Beauty rolled her eyes. "Mister, everyone and their grandmother is taller than I am," she said. She jabbed her thumb behind her. "He's over there, by the well."  
"Great!" Cyborg said. He ran over and poked Beast Boy in the arm. "Yo! B.B.!"  
Beast Boy turned around. "PEBBLES!" he giggled. He picked up a rock and dropped it in the well. "INCOMING!"  
Cyborg's jaw dropped.  
Beauty sighed. "Yes. I'm afraid he's been like that all his life," she said solemnly. "They believe he's a changeling."  
"He- he- he hasn't been like that all his life," Cyborg sputtered. "In fact, he's never been like that! What have you done to him?"  
"We let him sit there and throw pebbles in the water. It pleases him!" Beauty said, slightly defensive. "He is the village idiot, after all."  
Cyborg paused. "Well, it fits him," he commented. "But I need him to snap out of it, and soon! We gotta go back to Titan Tower...wherever it is now."  
Beauty shrugged. "I've never heard of anything like Titan Tower," she said. "But anyway, the possibilities of the Astronomically Dumb One ever waking up is about ninety-nine point twenty-four to none, or my name isn't Beauty Deskowicz."  
A devilish grin spread over Cyborg's face.  
"Eh... I don't like the looks of that," she mumbled.  
"Your name is Beauty," he repeated. "And his name is Beast Boy."  
Beauty clapped. "Ooh! You know our names!" she cooed sarcastically.  
"Beauty and the Beast," Cyborg mused. "Hm..."  
"Oh, no, you don't!" Beauty exclaimed. "I do not love the Slathering Idjit! Whatever is going in your warped head, stop it right now!"  
"PEBBLES!" Beast Boy shrieked again. "I love pebbles!" He giggled and threw a big handful of them down the well. "Ooh. . ."  
Cyborg jabbed her book. "You read a lot, right?"  
Beauty glowered and jerked her beloved book away. "Maybe!" she said.  
"Tell me about Beauty and the Beast. The story, I mean."  
Beauty sighed. "A prince was turned into a horrendous beast, and the only way the spell could be broken was if someone agreed to marry him," she said. "And I am most certainly not acquiescing to this. Certainly not."  
"Well, how else can we snap B.B. out of this?" Cyborg asked glumly, leaning his metal chin on his hands and staring over the edge of the well. "My best li'l buddy...trapped in a feeble mind...never to know anything...never to recognize my face..." He added in a few sniffs and sobs for good measure.  
Beauty's chin trembled. "OH!" she sobbed. "That's so entirely depressing! But I can't help you, because I don't want to marry a green dork!"  
"Green dork, green dork!" Beast Boy repeated gleefully. "Ooh, shiny! I like shiny! Woohoo! SHINY!" He tore off across the town square, chanting "SHINY! SHINY!"  
"See?" Cyborg said. "Poor pitiful little kid. What shall we do with him?" He heaved a long and exaggerated sigh. "If only some maiden would have mercy and agree to marry him."  
"But I wanted to marry an elf!" Beauty wailed. "Preferably a hot elf, but any elf will do!"  
Cyborg snapped his fingers- not an easy thing to do, when your fingers are steel. "That's it!" He chased after Beast Boy. "B.B., turn into an elf!" he said.  
"Elf?" Beast Boy parroted, cocking his head to one side with the adorable precociousness of a not-so-bright puppy. "Elf boy?"  
"YES!" Cyborg shouted. "Elf boy!"  
"Elf Boy, Elf Boy," Beast Boy singsonged. Slowly, ever so slowly, he morphed into the shape, the shape of...  
A dog that faintly resembled a footstool.  
"No, no, no!" Cyborg moaned. "AN ELF! Not a fluffly lil dog! An elf! Y'know, that people with the pointy ears and the long hair?"  
"Elf!" Beast Boy crowed. Once again he changed into the shape of. . .  
A handsome young elf.  
"YES!" Cyborg cheered. "Beauty! Beauty! C'mere!"  
"What?" Beauty asked. She saw the hot elf. Instantly hearts popped out of her eyes and she dropped her book. "OH MY WORD! Will you marry me, you adorable elf?"  
Suddenly the elf turned into regular old Beast Boy. "Whoa! Dude! What was that all about?" he asked.  
Beauty burst into tears. "I finally got a guy to like me, and he turns into a geek!" she wailed.  
"What's up with her?" Beast Boy asked, utterly confused.  
Cyborg patted her shoulder. "Don't cry, Beauty. I'm sure some nice bookworm who uses ten-dollar words will fall in love with you," he comforted her.  
"Really?" she sniffed.  
"Sure," Cy smiled.  
"Sure, when I'm ninety-seven and a half! Some little old guy will start chasing me around the old folk's home! My first date will be over prunes and oatmeal in the cafeteria!" she sobbed.  
Cyborg edged away. "Eh...is she always like this?" he inquired.  
One of the villagers shrugged. "It's been worse," he said. "Give her a minute. She can't stay depressed longer than twenty minutes and forty-two seconds. We know. We time her. She's too perky for her own good."  
"Oka-a-a-y," Beast Boy said. "Can somebody tell me what's going on?"  
A puff of purple smoke materialized.  
"So one you've found, yet three remain  
You've yet to win my clever game.  
Search high, search low, you still might learn  
The answer is difficult to discern  
The higher you go, the harder it gets  
Alabasterai never loses, unless she lets," the pixie rhymed, a smug smirk on her small face the whole time.  
"Come again?" Beast Boy said.  
"Watch out for flying rabbits," Alabasterai warned.  
  
Author's Note: References in this chapter- Bambi, Monty Python, Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan, and Beauty and the Beast. *whew* I wrote myself into this chapter. Heh, heh. Yes, that's how I am in real life. Except my last name is not Deskowicz. *thank goodness* 


	3. Part Three

"So somehow we got stuck in this weird fantasy world?" Beast Boy said.  
"Yup," Cyborg answered. "We still gotta find Starfire, Robin, and Raven, before we can go back."  
Beast Boy sighed heavily. "What have we done to deserve this?" he moaned. Suddenly Cyborg grabbed Beast Boy's arm. "AUGH!!" he screamed. "What was that for?!?"  
"Look! A town!" Cy yelped. "First one we've seen since we left Beauty's village!"  
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Beast Boy said. He changed into a cheetah and raced down the hill.  
"Hold it!" Cyborg puffed. "Watch out!"  
Too late. Cheetah Boy hit the patch of mud and slid farther and faster than a greased pig on the Fourth of July. He careened through the streets. "Whoa!!!" he screeched, bracing himself for impact.  
Suddenly two slim arms caught Beast Boy. "Pretty kitty," the girl cooed. Beast Boy quickly shape-changed into a hamster and cuddled in the girl's hands. "Pretty...hamster," she said, making a slightly confused face.  
"Thanks, miss," Cyborg said, prying the fluffy ball of fur out of the girl's hand. He did a double take. "You...are a girl, aren't you? A human?"  
She blinked. "Yes," she said. Although it was difficult to see if it was a blink or is it was just a mudslide. She was covered from head to foot in dirt, mud, and grime, until you could hardly tell if she was a human or just a heap of dirt. "I know I must look a fright," she said.  
"Look a fright?" Beast Boy said, changing into a dog and shaking off the layer of soot. "You look like a zombie."  
The girl's shoulders drooped. "I know. That's why they call me Grimsby. Because I'm so grimy," she sighed. Grimsby sniffled. "I wish I could be clean for once. But the only jobs I can find are mucking out stables and cleaning sculleries. Oh, and my night job cleaning cigarette trays at Aqualad's Atlantean Paradise. It's a nightclub down by the docks."  
"No wonder you smell like fish," Beast Boy commented.  
Cyborg slapped him upside the head. "Li'l Miss," he said to Grimsby, "I have an idea."  
"Really?" she beamed.  
Cyborg led Grimsby over to the nearby stables. "Now I could just-" he mumbled. "Beast Boy, turn into an elephant."  
"WHAT?" Beast Boy shouted.  
Cy rolled his eyes and whispered the plan in Beast Boy's ear. He nodded and turned himself into a green elephant. Beast Boy sucked up several gallons of water from the stable well and poured it over Grimsby.  
"EEK!" she shrieked. "THAT IS SO FRICKIN' COLD!!!" She raised her fists. "I'll get you, you- hey, is that what color my skin is?"  
Beast Boy continued to dunk water over Grimsby until finally enough of the caked on dirt had washed away, revealing a tiny, delicate, fair- skinned young girl with long blonde hair and wide golden brown eyes. She blinked her long, curly lashes until the water drops flew away and dripped down her rosy cheeks. "I feel much better now," she said in satisfaction.  
"You there!" A prince in weird chartreuse robes came out of the back door, a fencing mask covering his face. "Princess!"  
"Princess?" the trio repeated. "Where?!"  
"That blonde vision of loveliness!!" the prince shouted. "I MUST HAVE THEE AS MY BRIDE!!!!!"  
"Uh-oh," Grimsby muttered. "Eh, sorry, but I'm already engaged to the headphones boy who lives down the lane. You know, one of those arranged marriage deals?"  
"ARGH!" the prince shouted. "Foul knave!! He shall pay!!!"  
"Thanks-guys-I'll-never-forget-you-gotta-run-bye!" Grimbsy shouted, running down the street with her wet dirt-smeared dress slapping against her thin legs.  
Cyborg and Beast Boy looked at each other. "Uh-oh," they said in unison.  
"After her, and her consorts!" the prince yelled. He turned to retreat into the castle, taking off his fencing helmet and letting them catch just the slightest glimpse of dark hair.  
"Didn't that look like-" Beast Boy began.  
"No time to look! RUN!!!" Cyborg screamed, tearing off down the street. Beast Boy followed hot on his heels.  
  
*****  
  
"Can't we...slow down...for just a bit?" Cyborg panted.  
"Oops. Sorry," Beast Boy said. He morphed out of his cheetah form. "Forgot you're only human."  
Cyborg paused. "Hey...you hear that?" he asked.  
Beast Boy cocked his head. "Hear what?"  
"Avast, ye foul knaves!!"  
"The sound of horse hooves," Cyborg groaned. "Look, Mister Deranged Prince, we're not foul knaves. I'm Cyborg, and that's Beast Boy."  
"Well, Sir Cyborg, I hereby doth challenge thee and thy green-skinned squire to a duel," the heap of shiny armor demanded, thrusting a lance in Cyborg's face.  
"Okay, dude, it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye," Cy said, swatting the lance away. "Why don't you take the tuna can off your head so we can have a real talk?"  
"If thou so wisheth," the prince shrugged. He took off the helmet to reveal...  
"ROBIN!!" Beast Boy yelped. "Dude, are we glad to see you!!"  
"I know not of this 'Robin' of which you speak," the prince scowled. "My name is Peregrine Algernon Helmut Humperdinck the Twenty-Sixth and a Half. Please refer to me as such."  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever, dude," Cyborg said. "C'mon. We gotta find Star and Raven and get outta here."  
"A thousand pardons, Sir Dude," Prince Peregrine Algernon frowned, "but it is a fair young scullery maid that I so seek, not a celestial image of the heavens. It is the young maid that is my true love, and my true love she doth remaineth."  
"Well, that may be what thouest thinkethest, but methinketh thou art wrongeth," Beast Boy said. "It iseth the maiden Starfire...erm...eth, that iseth thy true loveth."  
"Dost thou lispeth?" the prince inquired.  
"No, but he is stupideth," Cyborg said. "C'mon, Robin. Snap out of it. We have to find Starfire. She's your true love."  
"I know not of the fires of the stars," the prince said.  
"Well, how are you going to find your scullery maid?" Beast Boy said.  
"By hosting a grand ball," Robin said. "That is how such matters have been solved in this kingdom of Balkishlavishloogen for many a year. And so, I must biddeth thee good day, Sir Dude and Sir Cyborg." With the loud clink of armor, Robin galloped away on his fat white horse.  
"What was that about, 'Sir Dude'?" Cyborg demanded.  
"Well, Sir Cyborg, if we find Grimsby and keep her from going to the ball, and find Starfire, we can probably rig it so that Robin will come back and kiss Starfire instead, Sir Cyborg."  
"That made no sense, but I'm with you," Cyborg shrugged. "Leadeth the wayeth, Sir Dudeth."  
  
Author's Note: Originally I had a contest for the first person who could identify Grimsby. Cookies for Cybertoy00 and Empti!! Grimsby is Anna Kyoyama!! I can't write a story without putting in the Mankin gang....it's just not physically possible... 


	4. Part Four

Beast Boy galloped across the countryside. Literally galloping, because he'd turned himself into a horse. He paused and morphed back into his normal form.  
"STAAAAAAARFIIIIIIIIIRE!" he yelled.  
No answer. He shrugged and turned back into a horse.  
"Whoa! What was that?!" a voice shouted.  
"Starfire?" Beast Boy called, now in his normal form. "Is that you?"  
  
"Do I look like Starfire?" the guy asked. He looked like an average human, not like the zany fairy-tale folk who inhabited the kingdom. Although he was wearing a huge fedora, giant sunglasses, and a nametag that read "Hello My Name Is Cybertoy00," he was still less weird than the rest of them. Of course, the name "Cybertoy00" was a little too long for one name tag, so he had three across his chest. It now read "Hello My Name Is Cyber Hello My Name Is Toy Hello My Name Is 00."  
"So what is your name?" Beast Boy asked, squinting at the badly lettered name tags on the guy's chest.  
He sighed patiently. "Cyber-toy-00," he said, pointing to his name tags. However, he pointed backwards, confusing Beast Boy even more. "Just call me Cy."  
"But I already know a Cy..." Beast Boy stammered.  
"FINE THEN!" Cybertoy00 shouted. "CALL ME CURLY!!"  
"But your hair's not curly..."  
"CALL ME LARRY!!"  
"But you're not a cucumber with buck teeth..."  
"CALL ME MOE!"  
"I don't have anymore comebacks, so I suppose I can call you Moe."  
"Good, 'cause I'm outta Stooges."  
They stopped and stared at each other.  
"So, Moe-" Beast Boy started to say.  
His new friend Moe collapsed to the ground, howling with laughter. "That rhymed!" he hooted.  
"Dude, even I didn't think that was funny," Beast Boy said.  
"Oh. Sorry."  
"WELL, Moe, I have a question for you."  
"And maybe I have an answer," Moe shot back.  
"Have you seen a tan girl, about yea high, long red hair, flashy green eyes, and the tallest purple boots you've ever seen?" Beast Boy asked.  
"No, I have not seen Starfire," Moe said.  
"Oh." Beast Boy paused. "Well, have you seen a girl with long blonde hair, big pretty eyes, real skinny?"  
"Yeah! I've seen her, Beast Boy! Come with me!!" Moe started scampering off.  
"HOLD IT!" Beast Boy shouted.  
Moe looked around. "Hold what?" he asked.  
"It's a- never mind. How did you know I was Beast Boy and that I was looking for Starfire?" Beast Boy demanded.  
Moe ticked the reasons off on his fingers. "Number one, I watch Teen Titans. Number two, I've been reading the story. Number three, I saw you changed from a boy into a horse right before my very eyes. What was I supposed to call you? Pony Boy just sounds wrong, and so did Horse Boy and Creature Boy."  
"Oh. Okaaay," Beast Boy said. "Well, can you take me to Grimbsy?"  
"Yeah! She's just right over there!" Moe said, skipping away. Beast Boy turned into a gazelle to follow him.  
Sure enough, a pretty little blonde girl was sitting in the middle of a forest clearing, singing happily and weaving a daisy crown.  
"Wait a minute. You said Grimsby?" Moe said. "Um..."  
"Grimsby!" Beast Boy hollered, now in his own body.  
The girl turned around and smiled. He realized with a start that the girl's eyes were the softest, brightest, prettiest blue he had ever seen. "I'm not Grimsby," she giggled. "I'm Terra."  
"Ooh...pwetty..." Beast Boy drooled.  
"Um...dude...um..." Moe stammered. "This is more than a little unnerving."  
  
*****  
  
Meanwhile, Cyborg was also scouring the countryside for Starfire. He leaned against a tower. "Hm...if I was an evil but cute purple fairy, what fairy tale would I hide Starfire in?" he mused.  
"Rapunfire, Rapunfire, let down your long hair!!" a voice called.  
"Yup, that's the one." Cyborg said. He strode over and tapped the person climbing the rope of long red hair on the shoulder. "Hey, Blackfire, is your sister up there?"  
Blackfire dangled upside down. "I'm not Blackfire!" she said. "I am Witchfire! And the maiden Rapunfire is not my sister! She is my hostage!" Blackfire- eh, Witchfire laughed evilly and clambered up the rope of hair.  
"Wait for it...wait for it..." Cyborg murmured to himself.  
"I'll be back for you, my pretty- and your little puppet, too!" Witchfire cackled. She flew out of the tower, needing no broom, of course, since she was a Tamoran and could fly naturally.  
Cyborg cleared his throat. "Rapunfire, Rapunfire, let down your long hair," he droned. "OW!"  
"Sorry," Rapunfire called. "I don't aim well." Cyborg pushed the heavy braid off of his head and started climbing. "Ow...ow...ow...ow...this is very painful!" Cyborg gripped the windowsill and swung over. Rapunfire was sitting on a little wooden chair, playing with her little puppet Starfire doll, left over from their run-in with the Puppet Master. "Who are you?" she asked him. "You are not Witchfire!"  
"No," he said. "I'm Cyborg, and I'm here to rescue you, Starfire." He paused. "Well, actually, to get your real true love to rescue you."  
"Who is Starfire, and what is a true love?" she asked. "I have not left this tower in all my life. The only person I've ever seen is Witchfire." Cyborg stared at her, mouth agape. "Would you like to play puppets with me?"  
  
Author's Note: Yeah...this is when it gets really into my own pairings. For me...Robin x Starfire, Beast Boy x Terra, and Cyborg x Raven. See, if it wasn't for Cyborg and Starfire, I would be all for a Robin x Raven pairing. But, they're there, and so...if enough people beg of me, I'll write a Robin x Raven fic... 


	5. Part Five

Terra poked the drooling Beast Boy. "Are you all right?" she asked. She kept poking him, then finally turned to Moe. "Is he dead?"  
Moe waved his hand in front of Beast Boy's face. "Dead, frozen, or in love," he said. "I think it's the love one."  
Terra giggled again and winked at Beast Boy. He keeled over from sheer delight.  
Suddenly there was a crackly noise of static. "Beast Boy. Come in, Beast Boy."  
He snapped into action. "Talk to me," he barked, trying to look cool in front of the cute girl, and failing miserably.  
"I've located Starfire, but she seems a little...loopy. How about you? Found Grimsby?"  
Beast Boy was staring at Terra. "I found a pwetty girl," he said, staring deep into Terra's big blue eyes.  
Terra blushed. "Um..."  
"Snap out of it, BB!" Cyborg said. "We have to find Grimsby. You take your pretty friend and look for her. I'll be trying to bring Starfire back to the land of the living. We've got to get Robin over here before he marries Grimsby."  
"Okay, okay, don't get your bolts in a bundle," Beast Boy said, turning off the little walkie-talkie. "Hey, have any of you seen a girl named Grimsby around here?"  
"I haven't, but I'm sure my friend has!" Moe said. He whistled. "Come on down!" A tall, pretty girl with dark hair materialized and smiled shyly at them.  
"Ooh, another pwetty girl!" Beast Boy drooled. Terra whapped him on the head with her flowers.  
"Hi. I'm Empti," she said.  
"Empty of what?"  
"It's my name," she blinked.  
"Okay," Beast Boy said. "So how can you help us?"  
Empti blinked again. "Help with what?"  
"You've been following the story, right?" said Terra.  
"Yes, but it's been so long since it was updated..."  
"It all began when-" Beast Boy started to say, until Moe covered his mouth.  
"Well, to make a very long story short, we need to find a girl named Grimsby and keep her from going to Prince Peregrine's ball," Moe said.  
"How are we going to do that?" Terra asked.  
"I have an idea," Empti said. "Moe, you and Beast Boy will keep looking for Grimsby. Terra, you come with me."  
"Why?" she asked.  
Empti tapped her chin. "From a distance, you could pass for Grimsby," she said, a cheeky smile spreading across her face. "Anyone up for a little masquerade?"  
  
*****  
  
"Is he going to be pacing like that all night?" Ella whispered.  
"I hope not. He's making me dizzy," Char whispered back.  
It was true. Prince Peregrine had been pacing up and down the length of the ballroom ever since the ball began. That was three and a half hours ago. Now he was looking rather green in the face from the constant spinning motion.  
"Your Highness, won't you at least look at the pretty girls waiting to meet you?" the major-domo, Wally-Frank, begged.  
A blonde girl in a strapless pink dress started jumping up and down. "Hi, Perry-Poo!" she shouted. "Come dance with me!"  
Prince Peregrine raised an eyebrow. "I think I'd rather keep pacing," he told Wally-Frank.  
"I don't blame you," Wally-Frank responded.  
Suddenly the whole ballroom stilled. "What's that?" Peregrine asked, perking up.  
A tiny, beautiful blonde girl was standing at the top of the stairs, dressed in the most gorgeous black dress he had ever seen. A black beaded mask covered most of her face. She slowly descended the staircase. Peregrine couldn't help but go goggle-eyed. "Milady," he said, bowing deeply, "it will be my greatest honor to dance with thee."  
"Why not?" she giggled.  
  
*****  
  
"I'm sorry, Yoh. I've found someone else," Grimsby said. "He's a prince. A very nice looking one." She tried not to look at Yoh's giant, teary eyes.  
"Grimsby!" he wailed. "Don't leave me!"  
"Too bad, so sad," she said, smoothing out the skirt of her white dress. "And now I must go to him." Grimsby started to walk off to the palace, but something stopped her.  
"Yoh?"  
"Hai?"  
"Please release my leg."  
  
*****  
  
"Have you found Grimsby yet?" Empti's voice crackled over the intercom.  
"Not yet," Beast Boy said. "You get Terra to the ball?"  
"She's there, and dancing with Robin," Empti confirmed. "I don't think he's noticed the switch."  
"Do you think if we find Grimsby fast enough, I can dance with her?" Beast Boy squeaked in glee.  
"Don't push it."  
  
*****  
  
Grimsby rolled her eyes as she dragged her left leg. "Yoh!" she complained. "I need that leg!"  
"I need you!" he sobbed. "Don't leave me, Grimsby!"  
"I told you, I found a very nice and very handsome prince," she repeated. "Now let go!"  
"No!" he wailed.  
"I didn't want to do this," she said. Grimsby drew her right foot back and kicked Yoh's headphones off with her delicate little shoes. They bounced and clattered along the cobblestone road, until they clunked against the curb.  
"NOOOO!" Yoh shouted, letting go of her leg to tear after his beloved listening device.  
"Works like a charm," Grimsby commented, catching up her skirts to run to the palace. It was almost midnight.  
  
*****  
  
"Prince Peregrine, you're a nice dancer and all, but can we take a little breather?" Terra puffed. "We've been dancing since nine o'clock."  
"A thousand pardons, my lovely maiden," Peregrine said. "You are my one true love."  
"Um...um..." Terra stammered.  
"You concur! Ah, my love! Thou hast made me the happiest knight of the kingdom!" Peregrine said. He clapped his hands. "Attention! Attention, all of you!"  
  
*****  
  
"Locked," Grimsby muttered. The palace doors were barred. "Better try a window." She popped up on the window ledge to peer inside, only to see the prince holding hands with a cute little blonde girl. "What?" she gasped. "He's leaving me already?! He. Will. Pay." She tried the window, but it was locked too. She ran around to another one.  
  
*****  
  
"Friends, I wish to speak to you an announcement of bliss!" Peregrine shouted. "This lovely vision of loveliness doth agree to become Mrs. Peregrine Algernon Helmut Humperdinck the Twenty-Sixth and a half!"  
  
Raucous cheers broke out all through the ballroom. "All hail!" the people shouted. "All hail Prince Peregrine Algernon Helmut Humperdinck the Twenty-sixth and a Half! All hail Mrs. Prince Peregrine Algernon Helmut Humperdinck the Twenty-Sixth and a Half!"  
"Quick! Findeth for us a friar! We are to be wed at once!" Peregrine exclaimed.  
  
*****  
  
No one noticed the blonde girl in white standing on the north window ledge. "No!" Grimsby screamed. She fell backwards in a dead faint.  
"Eh?" Yoh said as she plummeted into his arms. The unconscious little cutie was lying in his embrace. Yoh grinned. "Don't they always wake the girls with kisses in these types of stories?" he said. He kissed her.  
Grimsby bolted upright and slapped him. "That was for kissing me!" she shrieked.  
Yoh almost dropped her. "Ow..." he moaned.  
Then Grimsby tossed her arms around his neck and kissed him. "And that was for kissing me."  
"Makes no sense, but hey, who cares!" Yoh said.  
  
*****  
  
Terra shifted anxiously from one foot to the other. Dress up as Grimsby: yes. Dance with a cute prince: definitely yes. But marry him? That was a definite, concrete no.  
"Mawiage," the ancient friar said. "Mawiage ith what bwingth uth togethah today."  
"This sounds awfully familiar," a blonde woman in the crowd mused.  
"It does at that, doesn't it, love?" her handsome blonde husband said.  
Terra spun her wrist around, cracking it anxiously. The friar had already gotten to the vows.  
"Do you, Pewagwine Algehnon Helmut Humpahdinck the Twenty-Sixth and a Half, take thith mythteriouth beauty to be thine wedded wife?" the friar lisped.  
"Yes!" Peregrine cheered.  
"And do you, Mythteriouth Beauty, take Pewa...him...to be your wafuwuwy wedded huthband?"  
"No," Terra said. "Because I'm not a Mysterious Beauty. I'm a punky little girl that he's known since the middle of the second season." She took off her mask. The audience gasped.  
"It's...it's...who are you again?" Westley asked.  
"Terra. My name is Terra," she said.  
"Well, now you're just a Beauty, instead of a Mysterious Beauty," Peregrine shrugged.  
"You don't recognize me?" Terra asked.  
"No. Onward, Friar," Peregrine said.  
The friar continued. "If anyone objecth to thith mawiage, let them thpeak now or-"  
"I OBJECT!" a voice hollered. Beast Boy burst into the ballroom. "I OBJECT, I OBJECT, I OBJECT!"  
"WE DO TOO!" a band of girls in fancy ballroom dress said.  
"ME TOO!" the blonde in the pink strapless gown added.  
"All right. Give me your reasons," Peregrine said, rolling his eyes.  
"Because I want to marry you," Kitten said, fluttering her eyelashes.  
"Because I want to marry her," Beast Boy said, fuming.  
"Because we don't want Terra marrying ANYBODY!" the girls said.  
Terra raised her hand meekly. "Um...I'm going to head off with him," she said, pointing to Beast Boy.  
"Is he your true love?" Peregrine asked.  
"Well, the author thinks so, and...I don't think I would want to go anywhere with them," Terra said, pointing to the band of girls.  
"Come on, Terra," said one of them, hiding a barrel of hot tar behind her back.  
Her friend kicked a bag of feathers away. "Yeah. We're your friends!"  
"Hm, yeah, whatever," Terra said. Beast Boy turned into a horse and she hopped on. "S'long, suckers!"  
"Wait!" Peregrine shouted, chasing after them. "Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!- ooh, shiny!"  
Lying in the grass was a small silver hair clip in the shape of a butterfly. Peregrine picked it up and petted it. "One last glimpse of my true love. My mysterious beauty, here doth Prince Peregrine swear to find thee, or die nobly in the attempt!"  
From behind a nearby bush Empti slapped her forehead. "He just won't give up, will he?" she mumbled.  
"Well, I have a plan," Moe said. "A plan to get Robin back with Starfire."  
  
Author's Note: Heh, heh...I used to love the Swan Princess...good movie...and no offense to Terra dislikers. Nothing against you at all. Just thought it'd be funny...if you don't like it, tell me and I'll change it. 


	6. Part Six

"Your highness, this is pure foolishness," Wally-Frank griped. "You will never find a maiden by whether or not that's her hair comb."  
"Yes, I will!" Peregrine shouted.  
"But you've tried every girl in the entire kingdom!"  
Peregrine mused. "Not that one," he said, pointing to a haggard old crone. "Thou there!"  
"Eh?" the old lady said. "Who calls Matron Matilda?"  
"I doth," Peregrine said. "Tell me, dost thou know how to put this comb of silver into thine hair?"  
Matron Matilda fiddled with it for a moment or two. "Nope. Sorry, sonny," she shrugged, handing it back. "But I know someone who does."  
"Who? Where?" Peregrine demanded.  
"She is locked in a tower by a cruel witch," Matron Matilda explained. "She'll know how to do it."  
"And where is this tower?" Peregrine asked, intrigued.  
"Go down the street, turn right at Mudka's House of Meat, take the second left at Cindy's Shoe Shoppe, go deep into the dark forest, it's the first tower on the right, can't miss it," Matron Matilda said.  
"Many thanks!" Peregrine shouted, already on his way.  
"Don't mention it, hon!" Matilda called. As soon as Peregrine and the badly-out-of-shape Wally-Frank were gone, she pulled off her costume, revealing...Empti. "All clear, Moe. Situation is niner-niner-zero. Operation Deranged Prince is underway," she said into her communicator.  
  
*****  
  
Peregrine paused. "Now, was that the first left or the second left at Cindy's Shoe Shoppe?" he asked.  
"No idea, highness," Wally-Frank puffed. They were deep in the shopping district- named, oddly enough the Cliffs of Fabulous Shopping. "I've seen a Red Shoes Palace, a Glass Slipper Bonanza, and a Seven League Boots Store, but no Cindy's Shoe Shoppe."  
"Maybe we should ask someone who knows their way around," Peregrine sighed. "Like, maybe...them." He strode over to the little band. "Ho, there! Might thee know the mysterious location of the lost Cindy's Shoe Shoppe?"  
"Cindy's Shoe Shoppe?" The redheaded girl gave him the onceover. "Sorry to say it, but I don't think that's your type of place. You wear size four and a half?"  
"No, I'm a size nine," Peregrine confessed.  
"Yeah, you are SO not going to find anything there," the girl said. "My name's Candy, by the way. Princess of Udrogoth."  
"Candy!" A little creature with a giant orange ponytail popped up. "You know we're not supposed to bow down to strangers!"  
"I'm not bowing, I'm talking," Candy said.  
"Aw, what a cute little monkey," Peregrine cooed.  
The "monkey" grabbed his head and spun him around. "NOT A MONKEY!" she shouted. "I'M FANG!!" She slung him on the ground.  
"Hello, Fang," Peregrine mumbled through a mouthful of dirt.  
"Fang, that wasn't nice." A hand plucked Peregrine out of the dirt. "You've got to forgive my sister. She's just grumpy because she's waiting for the thirteen-year-cycle cicadas to come out of hiding."  
"Squashing..." Fang chuckled fiendishly. "Must...squash..."  
"Um, yeah," Candy said. "That's my sister Fang, and this is my brother Dave."  
"And I'm Lula," Dave's enchanted sword added.  
"So, can any of you tell me where to find Cindy's Shoe Shoppe?" Peregrine asked.  
"Sure!" Dave said. "Faffy can take you. Isn't that right, Faffums?!"  
The miniature dragon responded by honking and sticking his tongue in Peregrine's nose. "Hagwah!" he tootled.  
"Oh, look, he likes you!" Dave said.  
"I wish he'd hate me," Peregrine moaned, trying to huff out the last traces of dragon saliva out of his nostrils.  
"Hey, I'm the only other person who gets the tongue-up-the-nose," Dave explained. "He only does it for people he really likes."  
"Yeah. And here's me, crying," Candy said.  
"You're just jealous," Dave said.  
Candy snarled.  
"Bejabbers!" Dave squeaked, hiding behind Fang.  
So Faffy led Peregrine and Wally-Frank back to Cindy's Shoe Shoppe, gave him a final nose lick, and disappeared, never to be seen in this story again.  
"Thank goodness," Peregrine said, blowing his nose.  
  
*****  
  
"This must be the tower," Peregrine said. "Now that SOMEONE has finally figured out his right hand from his left hand..."  
Wally-Frank stared at his hands in concetration. "The left hand makes the L...the left hand makes the L..."  
Peregrine grabbed his left hand and pressed it against his forehead. "See? Just like that," he said. "Now, thou stayeth here. I have to figure out how to break into this tower."  
Suddenly a heavy braid hit him on the head.  
"Aha!" he said. He grabbed it and climbed up.  
A girl's face peeked at him. "Hello," she said. "Who are you?"  
Peregrine opened his mouth to answer, but he lost his balance. He fell straight from the window into the room, crashing into her. In the process, his mouth fell right on top of hers and he accidentally kissed her.  
"Um..." Cyborg stammered.  
The redhead blinked. "Robin, what are you doing?" she asked, blinking innocently.  
"Robin?" he repeated. "No, I'm...no, wait. I am Robin!"  
"And you're squishing me."  
"Sorry," he apologized, helping her up.  
"Glad that's settled," Cyborg said. He leaned out the window. "Terra, BB, Moe, Empti! It worked!"  
There was an abrupt poof of purple smoke, and Alabasterai appeared.  
"Who are you again?" Cyborg asked.  
"The villainess am I, you metal twit  
You think you're quick, with a sharper wit.  
Yet here am I with a message still  
To tell that to win I will.  
There's one last girl- that's what you think  
But all your hopes are about to sink.  
There's two girls to find, time's running out.  
That I will win, you haven't a doubt."  
"Wha-a-a-t?" Beast Boy said.  
Alabasterai rolled her eyes, grabbed Terra by the arm, and vanished.  
"And I thought this was almost over!" Cyborg sobbed.  
  
Author's Note: I'm making you suffer! I'm making you suffer!!...actually, if I was in your shoes, I'd be ripping out my hair in frustration. But be happy, here's two new chapters JUST FOR YOU!! YAY!!! And the next part should be coming soon!! 


	7. I am ashamed

Cyborg: We're here with a brief message from our author.  
  
Starfire: She wishes to apologize for her lack of updates for the past three and a half months.  
  
Beast Boy: You can be assured that her punishment is severe.  
  
Raven: She would also like to apologize to all those offended by the CyRae pairing. She promises to tone it down to make the story more enjoyable for those who are not advocates of the CyRae pairing.  
  
Robin: She is also extending, as a peace offering, a promise of five sequels to this story, in which each character plays a main role in a fairy tale parody. With special consideration to those advocates of the BBRae pairing, she offers a version of Peter Pan in which Beast Boy plays the role of the charming Peter Pan, playing opposite Raven as the uber-jealous Tinkerbell in love with Peter. She hopes that this will appease you.  
  
Aqualad: She also promises to update with a real chapter of the story by this Thursday.  
  
Terra: Enjoy and remember to tip your waitstaff. 


	8. NEEDS TO BE REPLACED

Beast Boy galloped across the countryside. Literally galloping, because he'd turned himself into a horse. He paused and morphed back into his normal form.  
"STAAAAAAARFIIIIIIIIIRE!" he yelled.  
No answer. He shrugged and turned back into a horse.  
"Whoa! What was that?!" a voice shouted.  
"Starfire?" Beast Boy called, now in his normal form. "Is that you?"  
  
"Do I look like Starfire?" the guy asked. He looked like an average human, not like the zany fairy-tale folk who inhabited the kingdom. Although he was wearing a huge fedora, giant sunglasses, and a nametag that read "Hello My Name Is Cybertoy00," he was still less weird than the rest of them. Of course, the name "Cybertoy00" was a little too long for one name tag, so he had three across his chest. It now read "Hello My Name Is Cyber Hello My Name Is Toy Hello My Name Is 00."  
"So what is your name?" Beast Boy asked, squinting at the badly lettered name tags on the guy's chest.  
He sighed patiently. "Cyber-toy-00," he said, pointing to his name tags. However, he pointed backwards, confusing Beast Boy even more. "Just call me Cy."  
"But I already know a Cy." Beast Boy stammered.  
"FINE THEN!" Cybertoy00 shouted. "CALL ME CURLY!!"  
"But your hair's not curly."  
"CALL ME LARRY!!"  
"But you're not a cucumber with buck teeth."  
"CALL ME MOE!"  
"I don't have anymore comebacks, so I suppose I can call you Moe."  
"Good, 'cause I'm outta Stooges."  
They stopped and stared at each other.  
"So, Moe-" Beast Boy started to say.  
His new friend Moe collapsed to the ground, howling with laughter. "That rhymed!" he hooted.  
"Dude, even I didn't think that was funny," Beast Boy said.  
"Oh. Sorry."  
"WELL, Moe, I have a question for you."  
"And maybe I have an answer," Moe shot back.  
"Have you seen a tan girl, about yea high, long red hair, flashy green eyes, and the tallest purple boots you've ever seen?" Beast Boy asked.  
"No, I have not seen Starfire," Moe said.  
"Oh." Beast Boy paused. "Well, have you seen a girl with long blonde hair, big pretty eyes, real skinny?"  
"Yeah! I've seen her, Beast Boy! Come with me!!" Moe started scampering off.  
"HOLD IT!" Beast Boy shouted.  
Moe looked around. "Hold what?" he asked.  
"It's a- never mind. How did you know I was Beast Boy and that I was looking for Starfire?" Beast Boy demanded.  
Moe ticked the reasons off on his fingers. "Number one, I watch Teen Titans. Number two, I've been reading the story. Number three, I saw you changed from a boy into a horse right before my very eyes. What was I supposed to call you? Pony Boy just sounds wrong, and so did Horse Boy and Creature Boy."  
"Oh. Okaaay," Beast Boy said. "Well, can you take me to Grimbsy?"  
"Yeah! She's just right over there!" Moe said, skipping away. Beast Boy turned into a gazelle to follow him.  
Sure enough, a pretty little blonde girl was sitting in the middle of a forest clearing, singing happily and weaving a daisy crown.  
"Wait a minute. You said Grimsby?" Moe said. "Um."  
"Grimsby!" Beast Boy hollered, now in his own body.  
The girl turned around and smiled. He realized with a start that the girl's eyes were the softest, brightest, prettiest blue he had ever seen. "I'm not Grimsby," she giggled. "I'm Terra."  
"Ooh.pwetty." Beast Boy drooled.  
"Um.dude.um." Moe stammered. "This is more than a little unnerving."  
  
*****  
  
Meanwhile, Cyborg was also scouring the countryside for Starfire. He leaned against a tower. "Hm.if I was an evil but cute purple fairy, what fairy tale would I hide Starfire in?" he mused.  
"Rapunfire, Rapunfire, let down your long hair!!" a voice called.  
"Yup, that's the one." Cyborg said. He strode over and tapped the person climbing the rope of long red hair on the shoulder. "Hey, Blackfire, is your sister up there?"  
Blackfire dangled upside down. "I'm not Blackfire!" she said. "I am Witchfire! And the maiden Rapunfire is not my sister! She is my hostage!" Blackfire- eh, Witchfire laughed evilly and clambered up the rope of hair.  
"Wait for it.wait for it." Cyborg murmured to himself.  
"I'll be back for you, my pretty- and your little puppet, too!" Witchfire cackled. She flew out of the tower, needing no broom, of course, since she was a Tamoran and could fly naturally.  
Cyborg cleared his throat. "Rapunfire, Rapunfire, let down your long hair," he droned. "OW!"  
"Sorry," Rapunfire called. "I don't aim well." Cyborg pushed the heavy braid off of his head and started climbing. "Ow.ow.ow.ow.this is very painful!" Cyborg gripped the windowsill and swung over. Rapunfire was sitting on a little wooden chair, playing with her little puppet Starfire doll, left over from their run-in with the Puppet Master. "Who are you?" she asked him. "You are not Witchfire!"  
"No," he said. "I'm Cyborg, and I'm here to rescue you, Starfire." He paused. "Well, actually, to get your real true love to rescue you."  
"Who is Starfire, and what is a true love?" she asked. "I have not left this tower in all my life. The only person I've ever seen is Witchfire." Cyborg stared at her, mouth agape. "Would you like to play puppets with me?"  
  
Author's Note: I tried for a longer chapter this time. Note that "tried" is the key word. I'm in a rut. But don't worry, dear reviewing fans, there will be an update every week. I just need to be able to get to the school computer lab, but I can only get there second block on B-days, and we've had so many snow days.not that I'm complaining! Cybertoy was the first winner of the Guess-Who-Grimsby-Is contest! Sorry, Cy, I'm not very good at puns. Coming next.Empti, the second winner!! Oh, and I added Terra in. She's so cute for Beast Boy!!! All the people who are for Raven x Beast Boy deserve to be tossed into a barrel of haggis. It's just.oh, don't get me started!! I'll discuss this topic at length later. Review!!! 


End file.
